name

now i'm randy. and it means 'horny' in british slang. how cool is that.

bad

sometimes i really can't tell who i really am. i try to be the nice person. but the ugly tail keeps showing. and i suspect it could be the real me underneath the mantle. in all my twenty years of life i was a good mommy's boy. but it's too bad that i have some decaying morals.

and it sucks when you have to play by others' rules. why is it that i have to keep people around me happy and all, when they don't give a shit about how i feel? how many of my friends are really friends? or am i just another person for them to make use of? then kick me aside when they're done.

it feels good when you drown yourself out. then you're numb and can't feel a thing. no pain, no tire, no worries. even when the whole world hates you, you don't have to care. but that is so pathetic. i guess that's why some people would then breakdown and cry. when they realise how fucked up their lives are.

and i just realised i'm quite fucked up too. my life is so empty. it might have been slightly better if at least my wallet isn't so empty as well.